Six
years ago my husband, who was a financial adviser, and doing well I
might add, was called into the ministry
to preach the Gospel.
We had
a precious two year old little boy, just learning the ropes of having
our own little family, when we sold everything and took the leap of
faith of setting out to serve the Lord in what He was calling us to
do!
We
moved into a mobile home, had one car, and Britt was now unemployed
and a full time student again. Soon after moving into our new home,
Britt was able to start working for his home church as their
secretary to make ends meet and he also started preaching at a small,
country church
45 minutes from our home on Sundays.
God was
working... I was falling apart...
In
the midst of all the changes that were taking place in our lives, we
were blessed with a sweet baby girl... She was my world... But, soon after
her birth, I began experiencing extreme pain but the doctors were
perplexed as to what it could be.
The conclusion... I would have to
have a hysterectomy.
In
the meantime, my grandfather, who is very dear to me had become
extremely ill... After months of doctors visits we were finally given
the dreaded news none of us were prepared to hear... He had lung
cancer. (never smoked a day in his life by the way)
The news for me
was almost unbearable... I felt lost and so lonely even though I was
surrounded by many loved ones.
I spent most of my days with him after
that.
I would sit and cry with him, share small moments of laughter, and
talk about the future we hoped to spend together gardening...
I loved my
grandaddy more than any little girl could....
He died six months after
he was diagnosed...
My heart still aches with grief...
One
year later, my grandmother, who also lived with my parents became sick
very suddenly... We rushed her to the hospital where we would soon
find out she had colon cancer and was in the last stages. Memaw never
left the hospital... She died a couple of weeks later... Our family was devistated...
In
the meantime, my daddy, whom I consider the greatest man on earth,
was diagnosed with being in the end stages of cirrhosis of the liver
from having Hep C.
More to handle... More pain....I was falling apart
A little girls' nightmare to say the least!
I
say all of this to say that the past six years
I've felt like Britt
and I have been in the wilderness...
The pain that I've had to deal
with has been unbearable at times and to be honest, I don't know how
I'm still here.
By the Grace of God for sure!
I've had to come to
terms with a lot of emotions that I haven't been able to deal with
because for the fact that I'm a stay at home mother, I home school,
and I'm with my children 24 hours a day, 7 days a week... They don't
need to see mommy breaking down, or falling off her rocker; so I've done my best to keep it all
bottled up.. Not letting them see what was really happening to
mommy inside...
I was hurting... the pain unbearable...
It's
been a difficult road and I am happy to say that my life is overflowing with joy these days.. I'm on the road to recovery...
God has shown me that the only way through the pain and trials of this life is through Him! You can't take on these battles and struggles on your own, as I was trying to do, you have to give them to God and soak in as much of Him as you can to get you through!
I also just want to say a very special thank you
to
an absolutely Amazing husband who has been there with me every step of the
way...
He's
led me with strong hands,
stood
up for me when I couldn't stand,
He's
shown me he's willing to fight,
That
I'm still the love of his life...
Even
though there's been times when I've given up on myself...
He
has never given up on me...
He's
fought for me...
He's
loved me through it all...
You're
an amazing husband Britt...
Thank
you for holding me up when I couldn’t' stand..
I
love you and look forward to finally reaching the Promise Land with
you!
It's
going to be an amazing adventure!
Let's do this!
Kisses....:)
