Call to the Ministry

Just wanted to share a little glimpse into my life over the past few years since being called into the ministry. In hopes that there is someone out there who has faced the same struggles I have or is going through them now and needs some encouragement.

To take you back when I was a little girl, I always felt called to be a missionary, then as life went on, I slowly let that call go and turned away from God for a number of years. As life pressed on my husband and I were constantly being pulled back and forth between the world and being completely sold out to Him. Then in 05 when my husband was called into the ministry, I knew in my heart that God was calling us both to let go of the world and follow Him, but I struggled.... with letting go of the "world."

Regardless, we stayed obedient to His calling and went forward with following His will for our lives. Then reality set in for me.......

I loved the Lord, I wanted to do His will, I wanted to serve Him with all my soul, I wanted to be completely sold out for Him! But, I was sooo angry and resentful at the same time! So, what was wrong with me?!!!

For two years I struggled. I fought and rebelled against the Lord as well as my husband! I had all these feelings going on that I didn't know what to do with or how to deal with them.... anger, resentment, sadness, insecurity, anxiousness.... There were so many times that I wanted to give up and walk away, so many times..... But I kept pressing on...only by God's grace.

I will never forget the morning as we were driving to church, I was usually pretty bitter and angry at that time, I had tears rolling down my face and I cried out to the Lord, "what is wrong with me???! What is wrong with me Lord?" "I know you've called our family into the ministry, I want to serve you! Why can't I get it together?!" "WHY?!"

And do you know what He said to me?

In a soft gentle voice, God said,

"Jamie, I'm molding you into an extraordinary, Godly woman."

"You're going to be ok my child."

I will never forget those words He spoke to me that morning. It was like a cloud had been lifted and the angels began singing, I felt released from all those insecurities I had been feeling, all that depression I was holding on to......I felt such gentle peace like never before. God welcomed me into the ministry that day.

As I think back when we first started this journey for Christ and how emotional and hard it was for me, I'm just so thankful that regardless of the difficulties, we remained obedient.

God isn't looking for someone who can handle it all on their own, who is prideful and has all the plans already together.... He's looking for the weak, the humble.....the ones He can mold into something extraordinary! He's looking for the obedient!

"I love you Lord. I'm ready. I'm willing.

Mold me and Use me for your Kingdom. I'm all in!"

Love,

Jamie